Wednesday, April 23, 2008

intention and witness: day 2

so much is starting for me at just this same moment--something is activating--i am again in the flow of it--whatever it is--and am continuing on with the search--my search--my find--my dig--for the juice of my authentic treasure--that which is in me to be made by me and left in this world--to enhance the journey of fellow travelers--some clue or set of clues to find or not.

at any rate--this is what i make of my life.

today, i entered day two of the collage and witness process. i am posting both here and on my artsactionamerica blog and on my own site--so the whole story of the journey is spread around in many places--a bit like me at the minute--scattered between business offices, the downstairs guest room/command center returning to money making room in the off-season, and the beloved studio.

bits of me are scattered, too, in the people who have spread themselves across this land, across this globe--each holding a little piece of something that makes up the puzzle of my life. once such pieceholder is jenn--off on some rafting river adventure in utah having arrived on the other side of the jfku ma in transformative arts degree, at the next incarnation of her interior decorator/collector/architect/housing transformer life accompanied by her big love who just gave up their money gig--and the two of them are battling through the snow, cuddled up with a fire you have to build and not just flip a switch to get.

she and i are entering a conversation about becoming transformation arts professionals--ie: getting paid for who we be and what we do in this world.

day 2: intention and witness

9:15am-my intention is to enter into collage, notice what comes up for me around job/money/house/finances/career until 10:am.

10:16 am-stopped collaging (a little late)
10:21 am-time now--when i have finished meandering the various web based distractions (e-mail, postings, blogging, the new hub thing)
now: make a new intention
new intention: to record witness--directly into this blog entry, and publish this post by 11am.

okay: witness:

i tore, a second time through the same robb report magazine i used for day 1's collage. i found these two poems?

1. the old man and the sky
it's the sound that tells you you chose the best of the best
get inspired
it's what makes the good life great
time is life's most precious commodity.
spend it wisely.

this poem was found in the remaining fragments, after i felt the collage was "finished". i decided in its making that it was the kind of thing i'd like to hear from my old man in the sky--and so i felt that it was a kind of channeling of his words to me--his comfort and his encouragement in this moment in my life. and from his vantage point, up there in the sky, he can see now what he could not say before and speaks it to me in comforting ways through this accidental collaging. i decided to believe it--i know how it might sound to others--but since you get to make up anything you want about people you love all the time--but especially after they're dead, i made it up that this came to me from him. and it made me feel better for a moment.

found poem #2

this was the first bit of the collage that began to assert itself and i layed it out directly on the tape--and set it off by itself as the center piece of the back side of the collage--it says this:

icons and innovators
wild life
sparks my passion
it is my love
fantastic four
a precision
as beautiful and seductive
the past inspiring the future
an inspiring icon is reborn
don't simply purchase
one acquires
offering a true sense of well-being
in soul, body and mind...
recalibrate your spirit as your soul
letter perfect
the art of achievement
in the service of pioneers
and discoverers
the long road
a different take
the art
the world
the art
privileged travel
system of your dreams.

i added the tweezers held by the craftsman's hands as he moved the small hand of the watch dial to the position he wanted it in. i noted that the background, spilling over to this back, is the ad for a tequila--and exquisite tequila--the kind of stuff i once told myself i could drink all night long and still be sober.

i flip over the collage and see the heart that naturally tore itself out of the tequila ad--i see the blue eye and the black lace gloves of the woman, the tree in africa--some safari wilderness, the phantom grill of the coveted black rolls, the diamonds dripping in splashy blue water, the words, moving up from the sharp point of the heart dividing its chambers--woman's blue eye, black lace gloves and wet diamonds on one side, african tree growing into phantom luxury on the other. the words across the division: "we probably learned the hard way that our best opportunity in the industry is with the luxury, premium category."

(comment distraction on hubster "how to write a love poem")

back to witnessing the collage:
i see the precision instrument--the watch, the hours, the roman numerals the sun and moon, the zodiac signs, the months, the day, the intersecting bands of precision geometry intersecting in the circle of life worn on the wrist of some discerning soul. i see the perfect collaboration. i see another diamond against a baby blue and the splash it makes above these words: "once you sat down beneath a tree with the whole community and showed the game benefited them" and then the lonely blue chair against the darkening twilight, the deepening time of day. arriving in the bottom right i see the words: women who want tot make a memorable entrance. i see the full body of the cheetah--and then, again, just the tail. i see the wings and water. investing in personal passion. a big, thick, bold worth and a tiny, all caps, wealth in perspective under only the th, i see i was happy, hearts and soul, seeds of revolution, back, compelling perspectives, out of the heavenly blue, opens up a wold of freedom and adventure. ideas for life.
great leap forward.
no compromises.
house of blues.
we invite you.
teh sky may not be the limit.
true renewal of heart.
icons and innovators
the art of desire.
the art of crafts.
a hole heart, whole in the center of things--a kind of doorway to dreams.

i'm ten minutes early--even with the distraction.
i post now--at 10:50, ready to re-enter the world of my daughter
and nurse her back to health.
she's sick today--
so i can cuddle next to her
and bring her things
and attend to her and this home.
i will cancel my money making meetings-
and join her in my big bed for the day.